Synergy is so simple to achieve

It’s been more than 3 months I have moved out of my home, my country…….. my comfort zone. Even though life has been a little difficult on the social front, it’s been on a slow improvement path. Meeting like minded people looked almost impossible in the initial months, but I have realized it’s only a little difficult but not impossible. Singapore is one country with a lot of expats and a lot of loners like me are looking to meet other people. It’s just about being lucky to bump into the right person.

While I have been spending time meeting strangers and trying to make new friends, I have also been spending a lot of time online keeping in touch with some old mates. One such friend is Bala, he’s a friend from school and we haven’t met in more than 10 years. He moved out of Mumbai much before I did. I don’t have too much recollection of our friendship in school days, but I remember he was like this dream child of every Indian parent. He used to be the class topper in almost everything and I probably hated him for that..LOL. We just happened to meet each other on one of the social networking sites and have been in regular touch for a few years now.

From the random strangers that I have been meeting in Singapore, I happened to meet this British guy, Dominic. Well I must say he is one of the most unbiased and easy going western guys I have met in my life. It doesn’t take too much for men to get along, just some common interests – booze, music, sports and girls! Dom has shown me a different perspective in life. He works only as much he requires to work, he has travelled and lived around the world. He has friends probably from every continent in the world. For him, life is not about slogging, making a fortune and having a family, but it’s about working smartly, travelling and experiencing as much one can in a single life!

During one of the depressing weekend in Singapore, I was trying to plan a short vacation for myself. This was before I had met Dom, but I had got some hints from Bala that he too was looking to go on a vacation. The first destination that came into my mind was Thailand – It has beautiful beaches, it’s one of the cheapest destinations around south east asia, and it has the most famous night life.

The most difficult part is to find the right people to go on a trip with. I hadn’t met Bala in more than 10 years, but I had a strong vibe that we would get along well and can have a great trip together. Even though it’s easier for men to usually get along with each other, it could work otherwise sometimes. One mismatch in the group could ruin the whole trip. We had to find someone who would fit the mind set – likes to booze, likes to go out partying, loves travelling and most important, should have the exact same budget as others. Little mismatch in the budget could ruin the trip for others. The initial few weeks that I knew Dom, I knew he could be a big spender and hence I was hesitant to invite him for the trip. However, over the weeks I realized he is extremely compatible and easy going. I asked him to join us and he readily agreed, the dates were fixed, the flight tickets booked and we were ready to head out.

So effectively it was a group of 3 men, from different cultures and different background, getting together for a single motive of having and a good vacation together. I was the common link between the other two guys and had this constant fear in my mind about how the other two guys would get along. However, I didn’t have to worry anymore after the first 10 mins that we spent together. It’s unbelievable how easily men can get along with each other. Within 10 mins they were cracking jokes and giving high fives to each other. We were ready to experiment with any food, any drink and any place that was visible to us and there was absolutely no conflict of opinion. The best part was there was neither any conflict of budget, we could mutually agree on how much to spend. The first night I remember all of us were drunk and we had fried grasshoppers from the roadside stalls in Pattaya. We were all high and laughing uncontrollably on God know what jokes! Even though none of us had spent too much time with each other in the past, we were like a group of best childhood buddies out on a vacation of a lifetime!

Couple of days into the vacation, I got a call from another school friend of mine – Bhumit, who is based in Singapore. He was keen to join us for the weekend, so we all headed to Bangkok together. We grew from being a group of three to four and still the synergy was unharmed. Between Bhumit, Bala and myself it was like a old school reunion. But all of use made sure Dom didn’t feel left out and it turns out it was Dom’s witty sense of humour that kept us cracking most of the time. By the end of the trip we had names for each other which I can’t disclose here ;)

I have had experiences of introducing common friends to each other in the past, so that we could be one bigger group and spend a good time together. However, it hasn't been as successful in the past. When I try to analyze what was different, the first thing that comes into my mind is – there weren’t any girls involved in this group. I am not trying to be sexist, but this is from experience. It just proves that men are much simpler creatures and more social, they have limited interest and it’s very easy for them to find and get along with people of common interest.

This is the first time I got a chance to get a group of men together for a trip and it has been by far the best trip of my life. There were some not so pleasant experiences at the place, however what made the trip really memorable is the company. All it takes is a group of men with good sense of humour, some common interest and a lot of alcohol!!! To Bala, Dom and Bhumit.. Thanks for being the person you are… Cheers!!!!

Dancing with Shakira AUNTY – Part 2

Following story after Part 1

With my prior experience of going to salsa classes in India, I have met a wide range of salsa dancers. Ofcourse there have been some of the gracious ones, and it’s a pleasure to dance with them, but the funny part is to watch the dancers with two left feet and hip stiff like rock. Trust me it’s usually funnier than watching Sunny Deol dancing in Kammo. I am myself not a great dancer, but I have been known for my capabilities of imitating item girls with some hip thrusting action and I can be an outright chamiya dancer when a little drunk. In my favor, salsa involves a lot of hip movements and it just makes me feel like I belonged to it.

So the class begins and for the initial steps people are dancing individually in neatly formed rows. With my prior experience of learning a few lessons, I could easily pickup the basic moves. However, surprisingly there was absolutely no one in the class with 2 left feet. Even though they were old and otherwise not interested in the class, they could really move their body very well. I sure had some serious competition here. However I was the only Indian guy in the class, and fortunately the instructor was pleasantly surprised to see an Indian guy dancing salsa. Later in the class he came-up to me and mentioned, I was better than the other Indian students he had trained. Well I sure got back to him saying he probably hasn’t got a chance to train the good Indian dancers yet, I was just an average.

Mostly I didn’t understand if the trainer spoke English or Chinese. I could only pickup the numbers and the key words – left, right, back, front, “can can” and “OK OK”. Then it was time to try the newly learnt steps in couples, and started the tough part. Most were in couples and I waited 2 mins till everybody found their match and then I got the ultimate shock. The hottest aunty, whom I had been checking out since the beginning of the class was alone. She readily agreed to dance with me. This lady had long golden hair and she was dressed in the sexiest salsa outfit I had ever seen in a dance class. She wore a loose ended skirt ending way above the knee level, a tight top with glitters, freshly painted blue matching nail paints and to top it all, 4 inches heels. The only sign of aging and the obvious one was the heavily wrinkled skin. She has a really sweet smile and I only wished I had met her 40 years back.. Oh.. I mean in my last birth..

So we had a quick introduction and as usual I didn’t really get her name. However, we started dancing to the instructors counts and I realized I was dancing with the best dancer in the class. It’s unbelievable how graciously she could move at her age wearing those high heels. The hip movements were swinging her skirt just like it’s supposed to do in salsa and I am sure a few old men must have been trying hard get a glimpse of something under. Usually while dancing with a stranger, it’s the guys job to make the girl feel comfortable so that she can dance and move openly. Even though I am really not good at the gesture, I didn’t even have to try. It was the lady who made the guy comfortable in this case. That even we danced together for the rest of the evening and sure we were the best couple in the class. The instructor again came to us and the lady and himself spoke in Chinese. Then they both gave me a thumbs up and said "very good ..... can can". I was glad I could impress the lady as much she could impress me with her dancing.

Since then we have together attended some 5 – 6 session. My initial intention was to join some kind of activity where I could socialize with new people. Well that really didn’t happen, as most people here are actually older than my parents. However, I have sure found the best dance partner ever and it’s amazing to learn dancing with her. I am not sure if it would be socially acceptable to ask out a lady older than my mother, but given a chance I would surely want to take her out to some salsa night and dance our guts out. In all these weeks, I never bothered to ask her name again.. but I look forward to every Sunday evening dance session.

Dancing with Shakira AUNTY – Part 1

Singapore has this interesting concept of community clubs. From my experience of living in Mumbai, I knew a real club membership was only for the elite people and the rest were the kind of clubs that would organize Sarvajanik Ganesh Mahotsave or Shirdi yatra. However, as Singapore has been proving its capabilities of giving new definitions to old terms, it has redefined the concept of clubs for me. Each district has a couple of community clubs which has activities for every age groups and the membership doesn’t really cost a bomb. So I headed to the nearby community club one of the weekends to find out sports activities if any available. With the regular man’s ego of not wanting to ask for help, I spent a good half an hour reading through the notice boards to find out what this club was upto. Well at the end I was sure there weren’t any sports activities happening in this club, but most activities were like hobby classes for children. One of them that caught my eye was “Salsa class” for adults. I walk into the reception to first check about the sports, and was told that the sports club is a separate building 2 blocks away. I could had saved the half an hour if I inquired first, but I also came to know of the salsa class. She suggested that the class starts the same day evening, and I can come 15 mins before to talk to the instructor before joining.



I had realized, Singapore usually celebrated “shorts days” on weekends. I am not kidding, the whole country is like wearing shorts, across age groups and genders. Contrary to experience of going to a mall in Mumbai on a weekend in shorts, where I feel alienated among over dressed people who come to the supper market with makeup on to buy grocery, I used to feel in place when I walked into a mall in Singapore in my shorts. Well, the experience was only till I reached the dance class.

First step – “I think I am at the right place”. I could hear Latin American music going on and the instructor calling out 1 – 2 – 3 - 4.. The place looked huge with huge glass walls but they were not dancing salsa. Then I realized, I was before time and this was the bachata-tango batch going on. This short Chinese guy wearing a cap was the instructor.

Second step – “Is there a dress code?”. As I walked into the class I realized this crowd was not celebrating the shorts day. Every man was dressed in trousers and shirt with leather shoes. Every woman was dressed in a skirt and top and high heels. I convinced myself by thinking, this must be a dress rehearsal for the batch before some big performance.

Third step – “Is this a senior citizen batch?”. After I had gazed through the over dressed crowed I started looking for familiar faces, I mean, I was trying to find out if there are any Indians in the batch. Well unfortunately most of them were Chinese.. sorry all of them were Chinese. However, a closer look I realized that most of the men were balding from the back of their heads or had grey hair. An even further closer look I realized most of the women had wrinkles on their faces. They showed signs of aging, but still they were all enthu to learn Bachata. Another thing I realized about Chinese people, is that after 20 they directly turn 60. It’s almost impossible to guess the age of a middle aged Chinese man or woman, they have the exact same hair, skin n body structure all through their life till they suddenly start aging at 60. Most of the people in this batch showed signs of aging..

Effectively most of the people in the batch were in couples. Clearly most of the men were not interested, but were dragged by their wife to join them for a salsa batch. I think each couple must have been married for a minimum of 20 years, and the tenure of their marriage was very visible in their dance. Salsa being the intimate form of dancing shows the intimacy level in couples when they are dancing. The stranger couples who just met at the dance class would only be pretending to hold each other and dance with enough space between them for a tree to be planted. The young couples would be hardly dancing, but more interested in the body brushing each other. They enjoy just holding each other tight with no space for air to pass through them. But here I saw the long married couples the ladies held their husbands like they were dancing with a robot and the men held the ladies like they were dancing with a pillar.

Fourth step – “Come join us?”. The Bachata batch just got over and the assistant instructor came upto me. I was a little fumbled and trying to digest all that I had seen. I just asked is this the salsa beginners batch. She said “Yes. You join?” I asked “Any trial?” she again said “You join?” I said “No fees today” she said “OK. Pay next week”. So that was the enrollment process and I was part of the batch

The following part of this blog entry will be posted early next week...

Met new people and instantly became family

I have completed 1 months in Singapore, and effectively the only weekend activity that I did in the whole month is one visit to a dance bar, that too was accidental (Shared the story in the earlier article). So I decided to visit a friend who lives in Jakarta. Considering my current situation of a broke entrepreneur, it was a tough decision to make if it was worth visiting Jakarta for a weekend at a cost of around 300$, or should I stay home and save some money. However, I realized if I haven’t had a decent long conversation with another human being in person in past 4 weeks, and another week like this would drive me crazy. I think more than a decent conversation, I have been longing for the drunk conversations, I have been missing the comment “you are drunk” when I laugh uncontrollably on nothing. So I took the plunge and decided to spend the money and buy air tickets on the cheapest budget airlines. The plan was to fly out on Friday night, spend the weekend at a friend’s place and return on Sunday night. I calculated, and was happy to realize that the air fare was actually cheaper than a Rajdhani train journey.

Just a day before I was to fly out, my friend buzzed me on IM and mentioned, there was some urgent meeting called from head office and he would have to fly to India for two days on Saturday. Now comes the bitter truth of budget airlines – you can’t cancel the tickets and rescheduling is as good as buying new tickets. We didn’t have a choice, but to go ahead with the plan and catch-up for Friday night. He was very sweet to offer me to stay over at his place, while he was not there.

So I get there on Friday night, and he came to pick me up. On the way to his place I realized, he was extra sweet to pick me up in spite of the annoying traffic. I think if I was in his place, I would have had asked my friend to take a cab. Took us around 2 hours to get home which ideally should be around 40 mins drive. I thought to myself, this must be the way Jakarta wanted to welcome me and make me feel at home (in Mumbai).. And actually the truth is that Jakarta is almost same as Mumbai with a little better roads and a lot of smoke. Wait! The smoke is not from the cars, but from people’s lungs. It’s like the whole country smokes!!! Well I couldn’t resist myself light up one. We reached home and sat drinking till 4.00 in the morning. It was not necessarily a drunk conversation, but sure a healthy one. I finally communicated with another human being, which was more than just small talks.. I felt so content!!

With too much of alcohol in the blood streams, and a bad hangover, woke up next morning to realize my friend was packing to leave. So I was trying to convince myself that it was atleast better than spending a lonely weekend in Singapore. My friend had a huge collection of DVDs and a PS2!!! I was game to spend the 2 days at his place.. at home.. watch DVDs.. play a few games.. finish all the beer that he had stocked.. and leave on Sunday night. Before leaving, he just called home one of his Indian friends from the neighbourhood and introduced me to her. I’ll call her ‘S’. ‘S’ was this 101% Mumbaikar, energetic, enthusiastic young lady (married!!) . I was very glad to meet a fellow like-minded mumbaikar!! So she just mentioned, she had plans to meet some of her friends and I could tag along.. However, nothing concrete. So they left, then I went about taking a walk alone around the neighbourhood. The English speaking population of Jakarta is very low, so I had to use my expressive body language to order a burger. I think my sign of a chicken looked like a buffalo to the girl, and got a beef burger instead of a chicken. However, I am person of low expectations in such situations, just had what I got and left.

Spent the afternoon surfing through my friend’s DVD collection, and watching a classic comedy. There was no phone call or replies from either S or some of the other ex-colleagues I knew in Jakarta. I was just getting ready to spend the night at home, when I got a call from S early in the evening. She mentioned, that she was going out “shopping” with 3 other German girl friends of hers and if I had nothing else to do I could join them. So I had to decide between a few slapstick comic movies (if I were lucky they might just have some nude scenes in it) or an evening with 4 girls out shopping. Well how bad or boring could it be to accompany 4 girls shopping, sure it would be a new experience to meet German girls, and anyways the nude scenes in the movie were uncertain.

So here I am, with an energetic mumbaikar in the cab, on the way to a shopping mall to meet her friends. I get there and realize only one of them is her friend and the other two are the friend’s friend. What the heck! They are all new faces to me, I didn’t care to do a background check. I’ll call the German friend “A”. If S was energetic then A=SX2. Within 30 seconds of the conversation, she had already invited me to join her with her friends for a party night. I don’t know if I come across as a cool guy, or a harmless guy or what, but I never expected to be accepted in a group so easily. So effectively my friend introduced me to S, then S introduced me to A, then A suggested I join her friends for a party the same night. I don’t really think I could come across like a cool or a harmless guy, surely not in 30 seconds of meeting a person. I realize that these people are friendly like no other people I have met in life. No judgments, about how I look, how I would behave, what I would say or the worst .. would I misbehave or get drunk.. never mind.. I am just accepted in the group! WOW!

So I get home, excited and singing to myself “I got a feeling… that tonight gonna be a good night…. Wooo hooo!!”. In a while ‘A’ comes home with 4 of her friends. I was a little surprised to see her friends along, as wasn’t expected. Also, I am really not the owner of the house to host a party for people. However, we ended-up finished half a bottle of my friends collection of alcohol and hit out to the party. So here I am, with 4 unknown people but very friendly, heading to a pub called “Blow Fish” and really looking forward to rock the night.


“Blow Fish” was a regular high end pub like we see in Mumbai, but with the best music I have heard in life. The whole night they played great hip hop, and then gradually grew into trance. I thought the European girls would be sophisticated and would have a lot of air around her. But herself and the Indonesian guys were the most down to earth, and also crazy party animals. We danced like there was no tomorrow and this is the last party of our life. People who have seen me dancing, know I can get crazy, but guys trust me.. this girl was unbeatable! I finally accepted defeat at around 3.30 in the morning when I had to find a place to sit and she continued to find places to dance on a crowded dance floor. We had our small jokes on couples making out or girls in super short dresses, and I felt like I was with people I have known for years.

This is not the end. Next day I get a message from “A” and “S” to join them for lunch. When I met them, they met me like we are the best buddies with a tight hug, and we couldn’t help but just laugh without a joke, after last night’s crazy dancing. We also meet the other two German girls for lunch. It was the best Indian food I have had overseas, I couldn’t stop licking my fingers after finishing the tandoori chicken. And guess what! The German girls could eat it as much in an Indian way. I accompanied them for a little more shopping and then we headed home. While parting ways, I actually felt that I was leaving close friends and going away.. the same way I felt when I parted from my friends in Mumbai. Never knew people could bring that feeling into me within 48 hours of meeting them.

So I pack in time and rush to the airport.. thinking to myself “Now I am prepared to spend another 4 weeks of lonely and tough life in Singapore”. But the bigger thought was “Now I have a family in Jakarta and its only 90 mins away from Singapore”. In this weekend, I haven’t made friends but I think I just joined a family.

Thumka at Jhumka!!!

So it’s been 2 weeks I have come to Singapore, and I have had my share of experiences of moving into a new city/ country. Lots happened over the past two weeks, and it’s the ongoing process of observing and learning the culture from people around. However, the outstanding experience was lastnight..

I have been missing family, friends and home for sure, but there is also a constant effort to socialize and make new friend here. I just happened to recollect that an old friend had moved to Singapore a year back, and tracked his phone number. When I called him, I was excited, speaking and swearing in Hindi and laughing our guts out on stupid jokes. I was pleasantly surprised to know that he is managing a night club in one of the most happening clubbing location of Singapore – Boat quay. I just got the address from him, and decided to drop in that evening, expecting to meet a few new people and build my social circle.

Thrilled and excited about having my first social event on a Friday night at a night club I left home. So I get to the place, and double check on Google maps, if I am at the right place, as it didn't look as happening as I expected. This place was not on boat quay, but off boat quay on a by lane. The name of the place was Jhumka! Just when I was trying to recheck the address on the phone, my friend stepped out for a smoke. I met him, hugged like meeting my lost brother after many years and stood there outside having small talks. Apparently the club is a Bollywood night club. It was not what I was expecting, but I got excited, as I would get to hear some Hindi music. Ideally while in India I would had hated to go to a club playing Bollywood music, but here I was super excited ready to hear some loud meaningless Hindi songs. That’s what a foreign country does to you, makes you love your country more!

We walk in and I get a shock of my life.. this place is no night club.. It’s what Indians call a “Dance Bar”.. The dance bar, that I always fancied going to when I was in Mumbai. The dance bar I had heard about a million times from my friends, but could never get an opportunity to go. The dance bar which used to be the life line of Mumbai night life! So, here I am more than 3000 kms away from Mumbai, but feeling very much in Mumbai.

The place was dimly lit with cheap rotating disco lights. It had a bar counter with the DJ (actually more of a wannabe DJ) and the bar tender. Then there was the dance floor with around four-five girls dancing on a bright lit dance floor exactly the same way we had seen Tabbu in Chandni Bar. They were wearing heavily studded ghagra cholis with a piece of transparent chunni covering the midriff. They sure didn’t look Indian or Chinese, but somewhere in between. Later came to know, most of them were Nepali. What they were doing, couldn’t be called dancing, they were swaying with the music with their hands moving left to right and head nodding left to right..

I grabbed a beer and got ready for the new experience in life. There was some super loud heavy beat Prabhudeva song playing, and I closed my eyes to enjoy the music in my mind and virtually dancing my ass off like the mad crowd of Mumbai dance on Ganpati visarjan. When I opened my eyes, I see this unenthusiastic girls swaying slowly to a hard beat song.

Close to midnight the crowd started coming in. Started with a few middle aged, pot bellied uncles with their laptop bags. One of them walked in very slowly, trying to be unnoticed, but checking from the corner of his eye, if there were any known people. Then came a few young enthu software techies (could make from their faces they were nerds). I heard one of them crib, there was no wi-fi coverage for his iPhone. The alcohol started flowing and the dance floor started getting crowded. The girls started pulling the men onto the dance floor. The ultimate dancer of the night was the shy uncle. He had no sense of music or dance, but sure had a lot of energy to move rigorously. A few girls had to actually step down from the dance floor to make space for the uncle. Then came the tall and heavy guy with long hair and a tilak on his forehead. He looked like Sanjay Dutt coming straight from the sets of Vastav!! Sure, seemed to be a regular, when a few waiters greeted him. These are people who come to a dance bar, listen to loud music, get crazy drunk, but wouldn’t even move a toe in the name of dance. He sat at a corner all night observing the girls.

Slowly the money started flowing. As this was in Singapore, it had to be a little sophisticated. There weren’t anyone throwing the money on the floor, but like a gentleman would hand over the money to the girls. The DJ who was a horrible mixer, played Munni badnam hui, Saki Saki, Kajrare Kajrare and every possible item songs a thousand times each. I could see stash of 10 dollar bills, and the first thing that came into my mind was each bill is worth 350 Rs. There were special requests for solo performances, where the girls did a little more than just swaying. A solo performance is when the guy making the requests gets to dance alone with the girl, while the rest of the crowd sits and watch them. The belly dancers in each girl awoke as the dollars started flowing and there were more of thumkas to see.

I checked the watch, it was quarter to 1 and the last MRT had already left. I thought to myself, what the heck, I can afford a cab back home on a party weekend and ordered for a few more beers. I couldn’t resist myself and hit the dance floor a couple of times, but I realized, the dance floor was only for the men who showed the dollars. None of the girls entertained me, as I danced alone for a few seconds. I was making a fool of myself, but that’s the beauty of being high.. you don’t care!

Around 1.30 I stepped out for some fresh air, and realized I could hear nothing but a beep sound in my ear. I was sitting close to the speaker all night, and my ear drums had gone numb. I had to call it a night and bid good bye to my friend.

I kept thinking to myself, what are these guys actually paying for? In the west, men would get a lap dance and probably more for the money. If the girls here were to give a lap dance with the heavily studded ghagra, it sure would bruise the hell out of the man’s lap! So there are men, who are throwing away dollars just to hold hands and dance with the girls and flirt a bit. I realized, even if I ever become a millionaire, I would never be convinced to throw away hard earned money at something like this which has no value for money.. However, I am glad for the girls that they can earn a living out of this.

Oh Yeah!! The best part of the evening.. for my first visit, the beers were free for me. So effectively, I really couldn’t build a social circle for myself, but it sure was a rocking night for me with a lot of loud and cheap Hindi music which made me feel in my country. And I also had my first experience of a desi dance bar outside my desh!

Nature!! Please don’t call..

Whoever made the floor plan of our office surely doesn’t face untimely bowel movements. My office has a sitting capacity of over 100 and being a technology engineering company we have a male to female ratio of 90:10 (No gender bias intended).

We have one commode among almost a 100 men, and the food at the canteen doesn’t really help the situation. Fortunately we have half a dozen standing urinals, else the office would had tested both bladder capacity and bowel movements of the employees. With the wide nature of people in office, the way they react to the perennial situation of facing the locked bathroom door is funny. Some research had suggested that a person’s character can be judged by the way they sneeze, I suppose it can be better judged by the way they react when the loo is occupied and they can’t hold the pressure anymore.

The loud and extrovert kinds usually don’t care who’s inside the loo. They would bang on the door every 10 seconds, and ensure the guy who’s sitting inside would come out half way through his task. One of them once mentioned “Andar baithke shayri likh raha hai kya?”.

The humble kinds usually wait outside the door with a lot of patience. When they bump into other people visiting the loo just to pee, they would smile. The smile doesn’t usually express any happiness, but just shows his helplessness while he is almost turning blue. They still smile at the person when they vacant the loo, even though they feel like kick him in the groin.

The shy kinds usually don’t bother waiting outside the door. They walk in, check the lock state of the door and immediately rush out. They don’t like to be noticed as one of the person in the que, its like a secret call of nature that people shouldn’t know about. They usually hang around in the canteen and keep a watch on every person getting in and out of the men’s room.

Finally the best part is the conversations that people have while waiting in the que. As it’s a product company, the most innovative ideas around this issue comes while waiting in the que. There have been regular suggestions to the admin, like put a waiting couch, or integrate one of the aircraft loo indicators, etc. One of them once suggested that we have a camera on the door to check the status which can be directly streamed into the local intranet site. People could log on to the intranet, check the availability and head towards the loo. In case its occupied, they can book the next slot, and they would receive an alert on the phone when the loo gets empty. One of them even suggested a simpler integration with the flush, every press would mean the person is done and the loo could be empty in the next 1 min.

With the desperate situation of people, I think one of the engineers would actually work on the solution after a diarrhea attack at office. And I am sure he would get that months star performer award from the HR!

Driving in the city of holes

The garage: Mumbai is in the top 10 most expensive real estate in the world. Keeping that fact in mind, you can imagine how big would be a stilt parking slot in my building. It’s wide enough just to fit in a small car and allows only one side of the door to open.

Drive to work: Most Mumbaikars live in the northern suburban areas and travel towards the south to work. It takes me around an hour to drive to work on a regular day, but on bad days it could be almost 2 hours. To avoid the peak hour traffic, I usually start late and work till late. However, off late the whole day has become a peak hour. Out of the 18 odd kms to work, the first 8 kms takes less than 15 mins and the next 10 kms takes more than an hour. Now, let me speak about what I face during these hours

BEST Bus: The bus drives in Mumbai sit at 5 feet above ground level and believe nothing exists below them but the road. I feel the rearview mirrors are meant for the drives only to check they hair do. The halts at the bus stop are usually in the middle of the road and they like to drive on the fast lane. Infact the lanes are non-existent for these drives. Also, giving way for smaller vehicles to overtake offends them.

The rickshaw: These are drivers who believe they are riding a bicycle and can push their vehicle right into the gap between two cars, if the front wheel just manages to pass by. Some of these drivers are capable of flying a fighter jet, and I am sure they wouldn’t need too much of a training. They believe every 300 meter distance should be covered at a minimum speed of 60kmph.

The bikers: If technology supports a light weight motorbike which people can lift up themselves, I am sure they would sell like hot cakes in Mumbai. A biker will not let go of any 10 inch gap they find between two vehicles. They are all over the place, on the footpaths, on the dividers and the worst case is when they ride on the wrong side of the road.
Fellow cars: Most Mumbaikars follow the concept of me first. No matter if you have been waiting to take a turn for the past 30 mins, no driver in Mumbai would oblige to give you a gap so that you can take a turn and cross the road. A car driver in Mumbai would know the dimensions of his car better than anywhere in the world. They can drive at a margin of 3 inches on any side of the car, and ensure that not even a biker gets a chance to push his bike into the gaps.

The road: Over and above all the traffic and the errant drivers, comes the icing on the cake - The roads of Mumbai. I am not sure what material they make the roads of, but it sure dissolves in the first bout of rain every monsoon season. Some of the pot holes are big enough to fit a whole Nano into it. I am just waiting, to read the news someday when a whole car just drove right into a hole and filled it up. Driving right through these holes usually makes a GRRRSSH sound every time the bottom of the car hits the road. It actually feels like someone rubbed a rock against your butt.

The drive to office at snail speed in bumper to bumper traffic and stopping after every 5 inches is like a war every morning. The war doesn’t end when I reach the office building. This is when I face the final and the concluding action of the war. The PARKING!

Parking: My office has 5 parking slots for over 15 car owners. It follows the concept of first come- first serve. This motivates most employees to come early to work, to get the parking space. I am the unfortunate guy, who always has to try find a space outside office in the open street. Humanity goes for a toss when it comes to finding parking space, the one who gets it first is the owner. I usually I have to find the parking space between two cars who’s modest owners decide to leave enough space for a small car to fit in. After a dozen forward and reverse motions, I have to convince myself that my car has fit in well and hope that nobody bumps into the part of the car that is very much in the middle of road, cause I couldn’t really fit my car into the gap.

All the love for my car goes right out of the window when I have to finally leave my car partly in the middle of the road and head to office, cause I don’t have a choice. Every evening I only hope, that I would find the car in the same position with not too many scratches.

Lengthy interviews..

With hardly 3 job switches in a career of 8 years, I have had very little experience of giving interviews. I however have got more experience of taking interviews.

I remember the first time I took interviews was when my boss dragged me with him to a campus recruitment. I was more nervous than the candidates!!!.. and at times I was not sure if the candidate was right or I was right.. It took me a few candidates to realize, I don't have to be right, but the candidate should know if he is right..

Anyways, I have come a long way now but I am still learning.. Last time I was interviewing a girl for a product marketing role. She was fresh out of management school, dressed in the best formal attire and could speak more than what I wanted to know.. The interview went on for a couple of hours.. And the candidate ended up asking more questions that I did. Finally, I had to call it a day, cause my bladder couldn't hold the pressure anymore. I had to end the interview saying "Sorry, I am not entertaining anymore questions. Thank you!". As soon as I stepped out, my colleague checked if I were convinced enough to get married to her, and if the next round was with the parents..

I hate taking interviews now, but when I have to do it, I don't stop digging till the person gives me the answer that I want to hear. I guess this happens, cause I am still trying to match upto the interview that my then bosses had taken to select me. Not that I could impress them enough, but sure they could impress me enough to give up other job opportunities and join them. I eventually got so impressed that they went ahead and quit the company, but I am still sticking around!! Can you beat that!!

I feel its difficult to find good people, but after all the patient lengthy interviews when you find the right person it gives an orgasmic pleasure!!

Its finally time to blog

Being an internet addict since childhood, I don't even remember when I first heard the term blogging. However, it took me time to realize what blogging was all about.. and then it took a really long time to decide.. if I want to blog .. and if its really worth it..

So here I am writing my first blog article. I think to start with I would like to explain to myself and the readers of why am I blogging and what I would be blogging about.

Why?
People have known me for the diplomatic nature and the person who laughs first and speaks later.. However, I feel there is a lot of thoughts in my head to share. This platform gives me an opportunity to share my thoughts, but more importantly gives the reader an option to ignore or comment :) I suppose this would be a good way to share the side of me which laughs less and speaks more.

What?
I think I would cover anything and everything under the sky that I would like to comment about. Most importantly, I would be sharing my experiences and thoughts, which otherwise gets shared with a very limited set of people. In a way, this would also form a journal of my life..

People keep watching..