Driving in the city of holes

The garage: Mumbai is in the top 10 most expensive real estate in the world. Keeping that fact in mind, you can imagine how big would be a stilt parking slot in my building. It’s wide enough just to fit in a small car and allows only one side of the door to open.

Drive to work: Most Mumbaikars live in the northern suburban areas and travel towards the south to work. It takes me around an hour to drive to work on a regular day, but on bad days it could be almost 2 hours. To avoid the peak hour traffic, I usually start late and work till late. However, off late the whole day has become a peak hour. Out of the 18 odd kms to work, the first 8 kms takes less than 15 mins and the next 10 kms takes more than an hour. Now, let me speak about what I face during these hours

BEST Bus: The bus drives in Mumbai sit at 5 feet above ground level and believe nothing exists below them but the road. I feel the rearview mirrors are meant for the drives only to check they hair do. The halts at the bus stop are usually in the middle of the road and they like to drive on the fast lane. Infact the lanes are non-existent for these drives. Also, giving way for smaller vehicles to overtake offends them.

The rickshaw: These are drivers who believe they are riding a bicycle and can push their vehicle right into the gap between two cars, if the front wheel just manages to pass by. Some of these drivers are capable of flying a fighter jet, and I am sure they wouldn’t need too much of a training. They believe every 300 meter distance should be covered at a minimum speed of 60kmph.

The bikers: If technology supports a light weight motorbike which people can lift up themselves, I am sure they would sell like hot cakes in Mumbai. A biker will not let go of any 10 inch gap they find between two vehicles. They are all over the place, on the footpaths, on the dividers and the worst case is when they ride on the wrong side of the road.
Fellow cars: Most Mumbaikars follow the concept of me first. No matter if you have been waiting to take a turn for the past 30 mins, no driver in Mumbai would oblige to give you a gap so that you can take a turn and cross the road. A car driver in Mumbai would know the dimensions of his car better than anywhere in the world. They can drive at a margin of 3 inches on any side of the car, and ensure that not even a biker gets a chance to push his bike into the gaps.

The road: Over and above all the traffic and the errant drivers, comes the icing on the cake - The roads of Mumbai. I am not sure what material they make the roads of, but it sure dissolves in the first bout of rain every monsoon season. Some of the pot holes are big enough to fit a whole Nano into it. I am just waiting, to read the news someday when a whole car just drove right into a hole and filled it up. Driving right through these holes usually makes a GRRRSSH sound every time the bottom of the car hits the road. It actually feels like someone rubbed a rock against your butt.

The drive to office at snail speed in bumper to bumper traffic and stopping after every 5 inches is like a war every morning. The war doesn’t end when I reach the office building. This is when I face the final and the concluding action of the war. The PARKING!

Parking: My office has 5 parking slots for over 15 car owners. It follows the concept of first come- first serve. This motivates most employees to come early to work, to get the parking space. I am the unfortunate guy, who always has to try find a space outside office in the open street. Humanity goes for a toss when it comes to finding parking space, the one who gets it first is the owner. I usually I have to find the parking space between two cars who’s modest owners decide to leave enough space for a small car to fit in. After a dozen forward and reverse motions, I have to convince myself that my car has fit in well and hope that nobody bumps into the part of the car that is very much in the middle of road, cause I couldn’t really fit my car into the gap.

All the love for my car goes right out of the window when I have to finally leave my car partly in the middle of the road and head to office, cause I don’t have a choice. Every evening I only hope, that I would find the car in the same position with not too many scratches.

Lengthy interviews..

With hardly 3 job switches in a career of 8 years, I have had very little experience of giving interviews. I however have got more experience of taking interviews.

I remember the first time I took interviews was when my boss dragged me with him to a campus recruitment. I was more nervous than the candidates!!!.. and at times I was not sure if the candidate was right or I was right.. It took me a few candidates to realize, I don't have to be right, but the candidate should know if he is right..

Anyways, I have come a long way now but I am still learning.. Last time I was interviewing a girl for a product marketing role. She was fresh out of management school, dressed in the best formal attire and could speak more than what I wanted to know.. The interview went on for a couple of hours.. And the candidate ended up asking more questions that I did. Finally, I had to call it a day, cause my bladder couldn't hold the pressure anymore. I had to end the interview saying "Sorry, I am not entertaining anymore questions. Thank you!". As soon as I stepped out, my colleague checked if I were convinced enough to get married to her, and if the next round was with the parents..

I hate taking interviews now, but when I have to do it, I don't stop digging till the person gives me the answer that I want to hear. I guess this happens, cause I am still trying to match upto the interview that my then bosses had taken to select me. Not that I could impress them enough, but sure they could impress me enough to give up other job opportunities and join them. I eventually got so impressed that they went ahead and quit the company, but I am still sticking around!! Can you beat that!!

I feel its difficult to find good people, but after all the patient lengthy interviews when you find the right person it gives an orgasmic pleasure!!